chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
