I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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