Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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