I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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