I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
