ugly people sure do ruin things
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
