Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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