the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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