i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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