I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Couch. On fire.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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