break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
