That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
