At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
