I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
