Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
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Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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There's always time for handjobs
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?