There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.