porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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