Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
