Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
