i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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