I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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