just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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