I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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