Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
