And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
