youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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