it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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