saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
