apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
