i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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