I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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