chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
