this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
