Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
