i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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