Banned from zoo.
Again?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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