Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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