Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
