So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
