cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
that may or may not have been my penis.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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