i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?