I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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