dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
