I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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