my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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