bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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