spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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