Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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