So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
