This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
