I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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