i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
