plz talk dirty to me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
