Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
