I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
