no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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