Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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