yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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