Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
