Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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